Habibitus column: horror from the bottle

Monday is Halloween. But how spooky is life, please? To prevent disastrous costumes, here are a few tips.

Okay. That’s creep photo: ap

Do you know Halloween? It’s that U.S. ghostly festival where kids dress up and wander through neighborhoods to extort candy by being scared. Adults celebrate it a little differently, throwing on their costumes, going to parties, getting drunk, and then getting scared the next day over their hangovers, so it’s like Mardi Gras without the caramels.

Like Christmas, this festivity no longer extends only to the Anglo-Saxon world, but also has some fans in Germany (see seasonal offer with grimace pumpkin motto in the supermarket). I like it quite a bit, too, but I’m afraid of the disaster potential of the costumes. As with carnivals, partygoers occasionally to frequently resort to anti-Semitic, racist, sexist, transphobic, homophobic, classist or ableist disguises.

I’ve seen everything from blackfacing and afro wigs to stick-on oversized hunched noses. Sometimes the costumes aren’t problematic per se, but they’re still inappropriate: right now, for example, it’s not recommended to go out on the street as a creepy clown.

In any case, Halloween this year falls on a Monday, and on the weekend some whizzes rise in advance. So that no one stomps into huge barrels of fat and embarrasses themselves, I’ve picked out a list of really scary and unproblematic costumes for you.

Blue bird in the face

How about, for example, well-known ghosts like Frauke Petry, Donald Trump, Horst Seehofer? Or, if you prefer something more literary, Erika Steinbach’s Twitter account? For the latter, simply paint a blue bird on her face and print out a few highlights from her underground timeline and hang them on your clothes.

If you don’t want to imitate a single person, you can also dress up as a ticket inspector of the local public transport network. Or as one of those young people with colorful vests and fat folders who pushily ask for donations for aid organizations in the city center. As a free-spirited guy with a chin beard (optional) and a guitar, one will surely scare a lot of people (especially those with taste). Also works in the jersey as a soccer fan, replace the musical instrument with a 0.5 liter beer mug.

If full-body disguises are too boring for you, you can simply reach for creepy accessories, because reality is known to be horror enough: a bank statement with a four-digit overdraft, reminders of the tax return, a flat-sharing cleaning plan, comment columns under left-wing feminist articles, the DHL dispatch note of a lost package or a WhatsApp group chat with all relatives and 420 unread messages.

I, for one, will be going for the plain option this year. For a party with mostly white guests, I got myself a very small accessory with the greatest possible shock potential: a bottle of hot sauce.

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